From My Shelf: Graffiti

I picked up one of my oldie but goodie favorites today.

It is one of those books that you read a couple times then keep it around to grab when you need encouragement.

I needed it this morning.

For a long time I have struggled with body image. Some days are better than others and the last several months have been such freedom! God has given me the grace to trust in Him. To trust that if I eat that cake He will give me the strength to handle the consequences....

But lately I realized that I have started to slide down that old slope again. I rejoice because I have noticed it sooner than other sliding seasons but still I have been sliding.

I realize when I am putting myself down.....allowing lies to creep into my mind.

"you are fat"..."those thighs are huge! They should be smaller with all the running that you do....maybe you should take up weight training again".

"Should you really be eating those chips? Do you really need those calories?"

"I wish my belly was just a little bit smaller".

I have realized that these thoughts are coming into my head...I realized that I probably was dwelling on them to much. I prayed that God would release me from them. I know what can happen if I let these thoughts slide. They lead down a miserable slope. A horrible insecure slope that is very painful.  But sometimes praying is not enough in a spiritual battle. Prayer is wonderful but sometimes I find that I need a little ammo to shoot down those thoughts...

So I picked up this book.

Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves
By Erin Davis

Source: christianbook.com via Jess on Pinterest

I have read it several times before but this time I couldn't resist pulling out a pink highlighter.

I only read one chapter but truths that I could use to fight lies were suddenly bursting off the page.

The first chapter is rather like an introduction. Davis admits that she would rather not tell about her struggle with body image. She writes, "It would be easier not to admit these weaknesses to you. I would prefer for you to think that I have it all together. But I feel compelled to give you a glimpse into the heart of my struggle. Why? Because I know you struggle too."

I read this and I was reminded that its ok that I don't have a perfect body. As I read I felt Jesus whispering into my heart. "You are flawed but I love you. I accept you with your flaws."
I felt loved by Jesus. He accepts my flaws. He makes me beautiful inspite of my flaws.

Here are some other places that I highlighted with my handy dandy pink highlighter.

"God's word is rich with words of affirmation of our beauty and our worth.."

"If you have ever doubted your beauty and worth, you have heard a lie. Freedom from the lie ----for you and me---is important, and yes you can find it!
    We fight side by side with a slippery snake. I know from experience that this is a battle not easily won. But I also know that victory comes when you turn your eyes upon Jesus."

"I want you to know that there is a mirror that does not mock. There is a place where we can look and be told that we are beautiful, lovely treasured. That mirror is Christ, and believe it or not, He has dedicated much of His word to exploring your beauty and affirming your worth."

"...your beauty is God-given and that you truly are His masterpiece."

These passages spoke to my heart. I probably will walk away from this blog post and struggle with body image in less than a minute..but now I have ammo.

I can think "I am flawed..but Christ has accepted those flaws..He loved me enough to dirty himself with my sins, my imperfections and because of him I am beautiful."

And may the Lord grant victory in my battles against this struggle to feel beautiful and I pray that you will find the same victory in your battles. If you struggle with an eating disorder or just find it a struggle to accept that you are truly beautiful pick up Graffiti...or better yet dig into God's word. God has planted many wonderful truths about how He loves you in there. We just have to crack open our Bibles to find them.

And Endurance Produces Character.......

Tomorrow I am planning on going on a run.

A fifteen mile run.

I am going to suffer. It is going to hurt to to be out there for three hours fighting the elements. I might even have to run during a snow storm.

But like Paul who wrote in his letter to the Romans, I will rejoice in my suffering. I will rejoice when my whole body aches and creaks when I try to move. I will rejoice in the sweat that soaked my hair and clothes. I will rejoice in my pain.

More than that we rejoice in our suffering....

I rejoice because I know that this run gets me a little bit closer to be able to endure running a half and a full marathon. This run will build my endurance.

...knowing that suffering produces endurance.

Also this run will build character. It takes guts to say that you are going to run fifteen miles but it takes character to finish it. You can't run a marathon on just your body strength. I will get tired. I will have to talk myself through the last half of the race. I will want to quit, I will want to give up. Even tomorrow thoughts of quitting with flicker through my head. I know. They have come before.

...and endurance produces character...

Just like the passage I won't stop here...this run will produce hope. Hope that I will be able to run my best in the half in a couple weeks. Hope that I will finish those long grueling runs that are needed to finish a marathon. Hope that I will finish the Lincoln Marathon in May and that I will finish well.

..and character produces hope,

There is one last thing that this run will do....and all the other runs will do for me. They will give me hope that will not put me to shame. I won't line up at the starting line of these races and peter out after only a couple miles. The suffering that I endured, that produced endurance to run long miles every week, which in turn built the character in me to keep at it, to get up early several mornings a week and brave the cold. All this gives me hope that I know will not disapoint me. I know because of all I went through that I will finish the race. (Lord willing)

..and hope will not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given us.

Romans 5:3-5

Source: eat-sleep-run-repeat.tumblr.com via Jess on Pinterest

From My Book Shelf

I love books.

I have ever since I started reading at six. Much of my childhood was spent reading or listening to a book on tape. I grew up with the classics like Little House on the Prairie and Tom Sawyer.

Now that I have graduated from highschool and am an "adult"...I still don't feel like one even though I turn nineteen next week, I still try to keep reading.

Lately I have been reading these books.

A Passion for the Impossible: The Life of Lilias Trotter
by Miriam Huffman Rockness

Source: amazon.com via Jess on Pinterest

I picked this one up while at my church library. I love missionary biographies and I had never heard of Lilias Trotter before. I read on the back cover, "Lilias was an artist, proclaimed by art critic John Ruskin to be potentially one of the best artists of the nineteenth century. But Trotter left the art world behind to pioneer a mission work in Muslim North Africa".

"Wow", I thought..."I think I can relate to her...here she is giving up all she has to serve Jesus. I want to do that".

So I checked it out.

As I read the book I fell in love with Lilias. She was from a well to do family during the Victorian period. Living in England she wanted for nothing and could have pursued a career in art. But she loved her Lord more than earthly praise. She never married and gave up a career that could have made her famous. Instead she lived among Muslims in North Africa. Spending time and loving the people of Algeria she strove to serve the Lord whole heartedly and share His love with Muslims. Her life wasn't easy. She often worked harder than her health warranted but she endured and died in Algeria surrounded by the people she loved.

As I read the book many of her words stuck out to me.....here are some of the quotes I saved. (I almost wish I didn't have to return it!)

"Trained faith is a triumphant gladness in having nothing but God - no rest - no foothold - nothing but Himself - A triumphant gladness in swinging out into that abyss, rejoicing in a very fresh emergency that is going to prove Him true - the Lord along - that is trained faith"

"When God delays in fulfilling our little thoughts, it is to have Himself to work out His great ones"

"..it was a joy to think that God needed me: Now it is a deeper joy to feel and see that He does not need me - that He has it all in hand!"


Daughters of Islam: Building Bridges with Muslim Women
By Miriam Adeney

Source: amazon.com via Jess on Pinterest

I grabbed this book at the same time I grabbed, "A Passion for the Impossible". I hardly ever get an opportunity to interact with Muslims but I thought " I never know if God would have me serve in a Muslim country or bring Muslims into my path." So I picked it up. (I really am a big "buyer" when it comes to libraries..lately I have been picking up more books than I can read...not a fun problem)

I enjoyed this book immensely. Before I read this book I didn't really know much about Muslims other than the general knowledge that I had picked up from school, church and other reading. As I read the book I gained greater insight into the Muslim world and more importantly the world of a Muslim woman.

The author takes introduces you to many Muslim women who have fallen in love with Jesus and trusted in Him as their personal savior.  I read of how they grew to love Jesus not as a prophet who didn't even die on a cross but as God who loved us enough to lower himself and dirty himself with our sins and problems. As I saw Islam and Christianity contrasted I fell in love with Jesus all over again. Islam teaches that God is beautiful, great, powerful, loving....all the things that the Bible teaches about God. But Islam is missing something. It is missing a personal relationship with God. The God of the Bible is all those things, merciful, slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness etc. but God wants to have a personal relationship with his people. "But God demonstrates His own love for us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
Islam is missing that. God is impersonal to them, they have to say many prayers and be perfect..and maybe God will hear them. The God of the Bible isn't like that. He truly is a father. "As a father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him."

 I still don't know much about Islam. Reading one book doesn't make me a scholar on the subject but this book gave me an appetite to pray that God would bring Muslim women into my lives..and the next time I see a book at the library about Islam I think I might just pick it up.

I have other books that I have finished just recently and a larger stack of books to read...I plan on keeping you updated on them as fast as I can devour them.

The other books that I have read recently are....

'Silent Night' by Sue Thomas

'The Navigator' by Robert Foster Jr.

and here are a couple that are on my list to read.

"Borderland: A Journey through the History of Ukraine" by Anna Reid

"The Greatest Russian Stories of Crime and Suspense"

I will let you know how they turn out.

What have you been reading lately? I always love to add to my stack of  "need to read"

I Have to Tell You Something!!!!

I found my library card!

Yeah I know what you are thinking "she is posting about how she found her library card?..she needs to get a life!!"

Yeah well maybe I do....but it was kinda an event for me this morning.

I had just finished my devotions and I decided that I wanted to put a hold on some books at the library....but for some reason my web browser hasn't saved my card number and I have to find my library card to even put a hold on something. Who memorizes their library card number anyway? (well my mom does...but she is the exception)

So I pull out my wallet and there is no library card.

Shucks.

Normally when I lose things (and I really don't have a deadline for it..like a library book due date) I just think "eh it will turn up sometime"...I really don't want to spend the time or energy or thought power to look for it.

One time I lost my glasses for a month and I thought..."eh..they will turn up sometime" and "I can wear my old ones"

It took my mom to actually decide to start looking for them before I actually found them...and they were in the most obvious place...ugh....

So this morning when I found that my library card was missing I decided to look for it....besides..it had to be here somewhere..and you never know..I use my computer a lot when I am sitting on my bed..and my sheets need to be changed anyway..it couldn't hurt.

Twenty minutes later I still couldn't find my library card. But my sheets were in the wash..and my room was slightly (very slightly) cleaner.

I felt like the woman Jesus told about in the Bible who lost her money and wouldn't stop searching for it until she found it. (Luke 15:8-10)

This parable came to mind as I dumped out my purse, pulled stuff out from under my bed and checked the pockets of my pants.

I knew a library card wasn't very important but I prayed anyway.."God please help me find it!"

And I found it! :D (it was in my purse....I found it on the second dumping)

Never did that bright yellow card look so good to me.

I was so relieved that had found it and I was so glad that I didn't have to look for it anymore.

God feels like that when a sinner repents.

"...there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.." Luke 15:7

"There is more joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents" Luke 15: 10

Compared to God we are as insignificant as the library card I was searching for.

But he loves us anyway.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love towards those who fear him;...for he knows our frame, he remembers that we are dust"
Psalm 103: 11,14

The Love of Christ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine,

or nakedness or sword?

As it is written, "for your sake we are being killed all the day long;

we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."

No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers,

nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us form the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-38



Why I Run

I run because it makes me feel good.

 I run because it makes me feel powerful.

 I run because I know something good always comes from pain.

 I run because I can't stop myself.
I run because I am a runner.

Springtime

It's spring time!!!

Can't you tell?

Yeah I know it's still the middle of February but I can totally sense spring in the air.

When out on a run the scenery brings back memories of springtime.

I can hear birds...springtime birds... and the frost on the ground just adds to the illusion

Maybe I am just tired of winter...and maybe Minnesota's lack of snow is totally adding to the effect..but...but...it totally feels like springtime!

Can you blame me?